


See you smile

by Frenchibi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (you knew there'd be crying), ...except that Iwaizumi gets glasses, Canon Compliant, Confessions, Crying, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Glasses, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, so much fluff honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 18:39:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9506327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frenchibi/pseuds/Frenchibi
Summary: He allows himself to examine Tooru's face a little more closely from across the table, eyes catching on the small crease on his forehead, the careful arch of his eyebrows, the slant of his nose-"Uhm... Iwa-chan?"Hajime blinks, dazed. He knows he's been caught, but he's just... transfixed."...you're staring," Tooru says.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thunderingskies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderingskies/gifts).



> For CJ.
> 
> First of all - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! ( ~~Growing up is decidedly optional~~ )
> 
> If you can forgive me for becoming a little sentimental - meeting you was one of the few really great things to happen to me in 2016, and I am incredibly grateful and proud to call you my friend. You've been nothing but kind and understanding and patient with me when I was being difficult, and that's amazing. Also, ranting about Haikyuu with you has become one of my favorite things EVER, even if one of us falls asleep in the middle of a (very suspenseful) conversation. ~~Yeah, maybe I'm not letting that go just yet~~.
> 
> In any case - your writing always inspires me, your ideas motivate me, and I look forward so much to everything you'll come up with this year, and to the project(s??) we'll work on together.
> 
> Thank you for everything, I hope you had a wonderful day - and that you enjoy this little thing I wrote for you. I'm sorry if it's literally the same shit I always seem to be writing for iwaoi :') You know, the confessions, the crying, it's all there xD In any case, if it makes you smile a little then it's served its purpose.

In retrospect - he probably should have told Tooru.

Not that it's a big deal, really, but... Hajime knows him. The problem isn't _what_ Hajime didn't tell him, it's the fact that he didn't _tell him_. So, yeah, that was a definite error on Hajime's part.

He's resolved to not actually admit that, though, because he knows he'll end up apologizing to a pouty Tooru, and that'll make the whole "studying together" thing really difficult because once he's worked up, it'll take some serious coaxing to get him back to normal.

He really doesn't feel like going to all that trouble today. Hajime is going to pretend like nothing's wrong, like nothing's changed at all, because _it's not a big deal_.

Maybe Tooru won't notice.

Oh, who is he kidding.

Maybe he can hide them for today, though, keep pretending for a bit, and tell him today that he's _planning-_

"Hey, d'you know what we're supposed to-"

And of course Tooru barges in without knocking - right on time, as always, and Hajime has no chance of taking the glasses off before Tooru can see him, because he's already stopped in his tracks and is staring at him with his mouth slightly ajar.

Well. So much for _"hey, I think I might need glasses soon, by the way."_

"...hi, Oikawa."

Tooru blinks. He closes his mouth, then opens it again.

Hajime sighs.

"Before you ask - I got them today. And I didn't think it'd be such a big deal, so we can move past this?"

Tooru nods, for what it's worth, because he's still looking at Hajime with a decidedly shell-shocked expression, eyebrows raised and jaw slack in surprise. He doesn't comment, though, simply choosing to flop down on the ground by Hajime's bed, in his usual spot.

Hajime's dragged out the kotatsu, because it's cold and Tooru always whines about it - and really, Hajime needs to get work done.

Okay, and maybe because of how excited Tooru gets about it. Usually.

Now, though, he's quiet as he pulls out his books and stacks them next to his notebook, and he's not looking at Hajime at all, nor does he comment on the setup. His ears are tinged red, but it might be a trick of the light.

Hajime sits down opposite him and pushes his pencil case to the center of the table, knowing that Tooru prefers his pens anyway. "...It's on page 57," he says, answering the question Tooru never got to finish.

Tooru nods, flipping open his history book.

The silence is starting to freak Hajime out.

"...say it."

Tooru finally looks up, confused. "What?"

Hajime sighs again and holds his gaze through the new lenses. "Whatever you're thinking. Say it."

This time he's definitely blushing, shrinking back a little even as he shakes his head.

Hajime frowns, reaching up and removing the glasses, setting them down on top of his empty notebook. "...I can still see without them, it's just harder to focus. And I don't need them for reading."

Tooru nods once, in understanding. "...so like me, then."

Hajime shrugs. "I guess. You wear contacts most of the time, right?"

"Ah, I don't, actually," Tooru says, staring at the book in front of him and folding his hands in his lap. "I only... have trouble seeing things that are really far away. I don't bother with the glasses."

"Oh." Hajime raises his eyebrows a little. "Well... it got really hard for me to focus on the blackboard," he tells him, "so I guess I'll be wearing these a lot."

Tooru tilts his head a little, glancing up at him again. "What- what about people?"

Hajime shrugs. "I can see you just fine. ...though I guess" - he reaches for his glasses, putting them on again (it's still a little strange, unfamiliar) before looking back over at Tooru - "this helps, a little. It's... easier."

And it is. He allows himself to examine Tooru's face a little more closely from across the table, eyes catching on the small crease on his forehead, the careful arch of his eyebrows, the slant of his nose-

"Uhm... Iwa-chan?"

Hajime blinks, dazed. He knows he's been caught, but he's just... transfixed.

"...you're staring," Tooru says, his voice carefully neutral. Hajime knows he's waiting for the opportunity to turn this into a joke - they always do, in the end, even if sometimes (though he'd never admit it) Hajime wishes they wouldn't, wishes he could honestly tell Tooru-

"...you have freckles," Hajime states, without thinking. "On your nose."

Tooru splutters something incoherent and leans back, shocked. "I- what?"

"Yeah, you do. Stop moving."

Some part of Hajime's brain - the part that's still sane, apparently - is screaming at him to get a fucking grip before he fucks everything up, but it feels strangely muffled and he can't bring himself to care because god, Tooru is _pretty_.

He moves around the table, closer to where Tooru is, until they're directly face to face, kneeling on the ground. He frowns a little, tilting his head down and deciding that at this distance it's easier without the glasses, opting for looking at him over the top of the frames.

Hajime hasn't seen his eyes up close in what feels like _years_ (even though, technically, he'd been close enough more often than not, what with Tooru always draping himself all over him), and- ...were they always this mesmerizing? They look like they're a warm chocolate brown, but once you get close enough, you see that they're actually just a little darker, but spattered with thousands of tiny, light brown dots, like stars across a galaxy.

Hajime's eyes find the freckles on his nose again, hard to spot because they're almost the same color as his skin but not quite, and he's close enough now that he could probably count them-

He blinks, snapping himself out of it as his gaze darts away, _whoa, Hajime, what are you DOING-_

But then his eyes catch on Tooru's lips, and his brain shuts the hell up.

His tongue darts out unconsciously to wet his own lips and he's totally not thinking about what it would feel like to kiss him, nope, not one bit, he's not thinking of how _soft_ those lips would be and the tiny sounds Tooru would make if Hajime shoved him against a wall and lifted him up and _took him apart_ -

The imagery is suddenly way too close, too real, and Hajime backs away with a jolt, heat rising to his face immediately and completely.

Tooru is looking anywhere but at Hajime, and his face is beet-red too. He's too embarrassed to even retort, god knows what he's thinking, what Hajime must have _looked_ like to him-

"Waah, Iwa-chan, what was that for?!"

Ah, there he is.

"Would've thought you liked being looked at, Shittykawa."

Tooru splutters a little, shocked that Hajime is still so blunt despite their obvious embarrassment. "B-But Iwa-chan, why?!"

"...because you're always surrounded by people who want to take pictures of you?"

He knows that's not the point, but it buys him time to think of an excuse when he's inevitably cornered-

"That's not what I meant! Why were you- why were you staring at me?!"

So much for that. He can't very well deny it at this point, but he can't just admit...

Hajime blinks.

Or can he?

Could he get away with it?

Their relationship has always been ambiguous to begin with, and thought it's mostly Tooru who crosses the boundaries (who is Hajime kidding, there were never any boundaries here in the first place), maybe...

"I guess I didn't... see you properly. Before."

He gestures to his glasses and hopes that's enough, he prays that's enough, because it's true in more ways than one - he's looked at Tooru every day since he's met him but he hasn't _seen_ him, not really, not like this. Not since looking at him across the court had started giving him headaches. Not since he's thought to look at him like he is now, up close.

Not that he needs the glasses for that, but they made him think of it, and, well.

He's not even sure what all of this really means, at this point, just that he doesn't want it to stop. Tooru is beautiful, and he's pretty sure he's always known that, somewhere - it's just the immediate, up-close awareness of it that's got him fighting for words.

"...you're not that blind," Tooru says uncertainly, a statement, but it almost sounds like a question. He seems to realize the implications though (or fear them), because he tacks on: "...did you forget what my face looks like? Iwa-chan, rude!"

Relief crashes over Hajime with crushing weight, rooting him to the spot, grounding him. They're okay, they're okay, this is fine-

But then he has to go and run his fucking mouth again because apparently he has _no filter whatsoever_ , no self-control, no brakes.

"I don't think I've really... looked at your face properly before."

That wipes Tooru's theatrical pout right off his face, and his eyes widen. "...what do you mean? You- you've known me all your life!"

There's no getting out of this, is there. Apparently his realization of _shit, my best friend is gorgeous and I'm so far gone_ is taking over everything else and disabling the normalcy of their relationship up to this point.

The only way out is through.

He supposes that's fair, really. Some part of him has always known it would come to this, eventually.

"Yeah, but I never noticed that you're-"

He stops himself, suddenly terrified - but then he catches Tooru's frantic gaze and he sees so many things there at the same time, fear, anticipation, confusion... he can still read him like a book, glasses or none. And he sees something else, too, something that makes his heart clench painfully in his chest because it's suddenly very, very familiar - and that takes any possibility of control over the situation right out of his hands.

 _Hit it until it breaks_ , Hajime thinks, and is almost tempted to laugh at himself.

"...I'm what?" Tooru whispers, excruciatingly hopeful-

"...you're... breathtaking," Hajime says, taking his time to choose the word that feels right, that fits best, that makes it clear what he's trying to say.

Even seeing it with his own eyes, Hajime wouldn't have believed Tooru could blush any deeper, but he does. And suddenly he looks so small, so wrecked, and his lip starts quivering.

"Don't... don't say that if you don't mean it," he says, and his voice is tiny and carefully neutral, "...don't do that to me, Iwa-chan."

It's like Hajime can see Tooru's heart breaking in front of him, and suddenly everything makes sense.

The touches - always and everywhere and with no regard for personal space. The soft smiles when he thinks Hajime isn't looking, the constant echoes of "Iwa-chan!" wherever he goes, and-

Oh. The tears from a few weeks back make sense now, too, and Tooru's small, broken smile; the way his hands had dug into the hem of Hajime's shirt and grazed his skin, the clenched fists that left small imprints on his neck and shoulders when Tooru finally cracked and let Hajime comfort him after days of acting like nothing was wrong, even though he'd never really told him what had made him so upset, just that he liked someone and it was painful and-

Suddenly, Hajime's own feelings make sense, too.

Actually, they probably always did.

Seeing Tooru fall apart in front of him now is more than he can take, and even if he tries to deny it later, his first and only thought is that he will never, ever let Tooru feel this sort of pain again.

"Oikawa," he says, and his own voice cracks, too, under the strain and the nerves and _please, please, stop hurting-_

Tooru shakes his head, refusing to look up, and he says: "Don't, please, I don't want to hear it, I don't want to hear that you don't feel- that you don't-"

"Oikawa, shut up and look at me."

Slowly, Tooru raises his head-

And his eyes go wide.

Hajime notices the tears only because his vision is fogging up again, because Tooru has slowly gone blurry and for a terrible, terrible second he thinks he's lost him again, that he'll never see his face as clearly as he did right then. He reaches up to rub at his eyes but the stupid glasses are in the way and they knock against his nose and knuckles as he tries to stop the tears, finally succeeding to pull them off, drop them on Tooru's pile of books and drag his sleeve over his face - but his eyes just fill right up again, and he lets out a tiny, pathetic little sound that has Tooru tense up immediately.

"Iwa-"

"I'm so sorry," Hajime gasps, trying to stop _shaking_ for one goddamn second because he needs to _see_ , he needs to tell Tooru the mess that's piling up inside his thoughts, all the things he didn't understand until _right then_ , all the suffering he could have prevented if he had just known-

"Iw- Hajime, what's wrong, what-"

"God, Tooru, I'm so sorry I didn't _see_ -"

"What? What are you talking about, wha- why are you crying, Iwa-chan, please-"

"I wasted so much _time_ ," he gasps, finally managing to look back at Tooru's face, because he needs to see this, he needs Tooru to understand, "if I hadn't been so goddamn stupid, you wouldn't have had to- we could have- I could have-"

Tooru is shaking his head, confusion and fear taking over his expression as he stares back, he's not getting it, because Hajime hasn't fucking _told_ him yet, "we could have what, Iwa-chan? What are you talking about-"

"This," Hajime says, because there's no other way, he can't make words work but he can _show_ him - and he grabs Tooru by his collar and crashes their lips together.

Tooru freezes, he's not kissing back, and panic sears through Hajime's chest as he pulls back, what if he's wrong, what if this-

But then Tooru's hand shoots forward, catching his shoulder, jerking him back until their lips slot together again, and this time it's anything but rigid.

Tooru's hand slides up to tug at Hajime's hair, all sense of restraint gone as he manhandles him into a position that gives the kiss more depth, and his other hand comes up against Hajime's chest, twisting into the fabric at the front of his shirt as he pulls him closer, closer-

They break apart for air, but Tooru doesn't hesitate for a second, he slams their mouths together again immediately and slides his tongue against Hajime's lips, forcing them open.

Hajime barely registers the soft moan that's coming from somewhere in his own throat, he's too overwhelmed by the sensation of _Tooru_ , Tooru pressing up against him, his own hands finding Tooru's waist and Tooru's hair, Tooru's tongue sliding against his own-

He can taste his own tears in the kiss, and when they finally pull apart, he sees that Tooru is crying now, too, body racked by silent sobs as he slumps against Hajime's chest, shaking and broken and desperate.

And Hajime does what he does best - he gathers Tooru up in his arms and lets him cry, lets him work though everything that's making it impossible to speak, lets him be swallowed at long last by relief.

It's Tooru's hands that save Hajime, though, twisting into the hem of his shirt like they so often do, and instead of stopping and jerking away, this time he slides them underneath, spreads his fingers across the warm skin of Hajime's back and leaves them there, like he forgot how to move, like this is too good to be true.

"I see you now," Hajime whispers, and Tooru lets out a strangled laugh somewhere near his collarbone. "I see you, and I'm such an idiot for not realizing sooner."

Tooru is shaking his head, but Hajime just squeezes him tighter. "I am. God, I'm so sorry. I've... I've probably felt this way for years, I just didn't know it-"

"No," Tooru says, and his voice doesn't sound like him at all - then again, neither does Hajime's, probably.

"You suffered so much because I was too dense to see-"

"No," Tooru repeats, and his fingers dig into Hajime's skin, leaving little half-moon imprints of his fingernails behind. "No. This- this is perfect. I don't regret a single thing, I wouldn't change it if I could."

"Tooru-"

"Hajime," he interrupts, "do you know how long I've been pining after you? How long I've dreamed of you kissing me like that? Of you _wanting me_ like that-"

"I'm so sorry-"

"No. Don't be sorry. Be _mine_ now. God, please. Please, please just be mine now."

Hajime is left breathless, and blushing harder than ever as he pulls Tooru closer, determined not to let him see his face like this.

"Tooru-"

But he's pulling back, and he's stronger, his determination overpowering Hajime's shaky arms as he tries to hold him close, and then he's looking up at him with the sudden spark that Hajime only knows from matches.

"Don't apologize. Just let me be with you now. Let me be yours, Iwa-chan. God knows my heart's been yours since before I can remember."

Hajime remembers the tiny boy with the wide eyes and band-aids on his knees, remembers his dazzling smile and the spring in his step, remembers the warmth in his chest when Tooru grabbed his hand-

His heart's been with Tooru, too. All this time.

"Please," Tooru is saying, "Just let me be by your side."

He couldn't say no to this if he tried.

"Okay," he breathes, and then he says it again because of the way Tooru's eyes light up, and he brings up his hands to cover his mouth like he can't believe this is real, this is happening, this-

"Okay. I- yes, okay."

"I- ...really?"

Tooru's voice is muffled by his hands, and he looks so _happy_ -

Hajime lets out a breath, and his tension leaves with it, slowly but surely evaporating as he holds Tooru's gaze and feels his own happiness and relief bubbling up, threatening to break the surface.

"Yes, really. I want- I want that. Y-you, with me."

Tooru is positively glowing, and he makes a noise that's almost a squeal as he shoots forward and throws his arms around Hajime so he can wrap him in a bone-crushing hug.

"Hajime," he gasps, and Hajime is powerless but to pull him close. "God, I was- I thought I'd never- I felt so helpless, and I was so sure you'd never- you could never f-feel that way about me-"

"I'm gonna make sure you never feel like that again," Hajime says quietly, and he tightens his grip around Tooru's waist.

Tooru shifts around a bit, pressing his face into the crook of Hajime's neck, and Hajime can feel his breath on his skin when he says: "...yeah?"

"Yeah. And you can bet I'll be aggressive about it." He chuckles a little, pressing his lips to the top of Tooru's head.

Tooru makes a small, strangled sound, to which Hajime perks up, a little taken aback.

"What's wrong?"

"You- I'm just-" Tooru groans and hides his face behind his hands. "How are you so _perfect_ , Iwa-chan? How is that fair?"

And then, more quietly, so Hajime barely catches it, he adds: "...and I'm just... everything I've done has been for you."

Hajime blinks, because he doesn't quite understand, but Tooru doesn't elaborate, and he's not looking up, either.

"...are you kidding?"

Tooru shifts his fingers and catches his gaze from between the cracks.

"...no. I started... playing volleyball 'cause you said it was cool. I s-started smiling at people because... Remember how I always used to cry, over the tiniest things?" He manages a smile, revealing a little more of his face. "All the time, and you'd- you'd always tell me not to be stupid and that everything was gonna be okay and you always- you always smiled at me. And I wanted- That made me so happy, and I wanted to make people happy, too."

Hajime allows the wet chuckle that's bubbling up in his throat, slightly incredulous because _really_ -

"Y-you were always smarter than me, too, and I wanted to show you that I could be good at stuff too s-so I started working really h-hard-"

He has to stop because he's crying again, and laughing, and really it's ridiculous how much Hajime's heart _soars_.

"I-idiot," Hajime whispers, "You never had to prove anything to me-"

"I love you," Tooru cuts in, and he even looks a little surprised at his own outburst - like he'd just found the courage to say it, and he couldn't have stopped the words if he'd wanted to. His gaze darts up to meet Hajime's, and Hajime is sure he can see how his entire face lights up at the words because he's smiling, wide and real, and, "oh, Iwa-chan, I love you so much, you have no idea-"

"Me, too," Hajime says. "I love you too."

And the happy, grateful and _hopeful_ light his words bring to Tooru's eyes is the best thing Hajime has ever seen.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you thought :D
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](http://frenchibi.tumblr.com) and come yell at me!


End file.
